


Lifeboat

by Starfall28



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Dies, Angst, Heavy Angst, It's Unclear, Other, Sad Draco Malfoy, Sad with a Sad Ending, Song: Lifeboat (Heathers), Sorry Not Sorry, Wrote this instead of studying, formatting takes forever, kind of good severus snape, lets see what happens, seriously, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starfall28/pseuds/Starfall28
Summary: Draco is assigned to kill Dumbledore as a new Death Eater. But his life isn't all smooth sailing.
Kudos: 3





	Lifeboat

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second song fic, this time focusing in Draco. Draco is one of those characters where my opinion changes every so often, along with Severus Snape. Anyway, I hope you like it!

**I float in a boat/In a raging black ocean**

I walked through Hogwarts, taking deep breaths. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up. Trying to kill Dumbledore was too much, too much for me! I was slowly losing his resolve, but I had to keep trying. Otherwise… otherwise...

**Low in the water/With nowhere to go**

There wasn’t anything I could do. My mum couldn’t help me, she was in danger too. By my father. _My father._ By Merlin, how much I wanted to curse that man. Because, if anyone would listen to me, before it was too late, I could tell them. How he had me Imperio’d my whole life. How I was a Death Eater against my will. But who would listen? I was in too deep.

**The tiniest lifeboat/With people I know**

Another Death Eater meeting. While other kids were having fun, eating sweets and decorating trees, I was sitting with black cloaked figures, most of them my relatives in one sick and twisted way or another, who were talking about ways to torture people. Yes, what a wonderful Christmas. Wasn’t I so lucky?

**Cold, clammy, and crowded/The people smell desperate**

It was disgusting. The way the others look hungrily at Vold- sorry, the _Dark Lord_. How they looked at me like I was lucky. Lucky to be chosen to be a murderer. A murderer of the greatest wizard in history. 

**We'll sink any minute/So someone must go**

I hurried through the halls, feeling Potter’s eyes on me. Because I was in Slytherin, I was the villain. Pansy and Blaise couldn’t help me, I couldn’t let them know how weak I had been. I ran into the bathroom, blindly ignorant that it was the girls bathroom, the one occupied by Myrtle.

**The tiniest lifeboat/With the people I know**

“Hello.” I looked up, quickly trying to hide the deep bags under my eyes, the tear tracks staining my face. It was a ghost. Pearly white and silver, with dark hair and eyes, pure white skin and round glasses. “What’s wrong? You can tell me. After all, who else could I tell? You’re my first visitor here for- oh, for years.” I hesitated. It was as good of an option as chucking myself into the Black Lake. And as that was looking pretty promising, I did.

**Everyone's pushing/Everyone's fighting**

It became habit to come to Myrtle’s bathroom. One day I couldn’t help it; he broke down, face bowed down over the sink. Footsteps echoed through the tiles. I whirled around to see- Potter. Potter, Potter, Potter. The Gryffindor. The good guy.

**Storms are approaching/There's nowhere to hide**

Who shot the first spell? I couldn’t remember, even though it surely only happened a couple seconds ago. Red light whizzed past my shoulder. I sent a jet of blue Potter’s way. What spell was it? Could it even hurt him? Or was it just a jet of sparks? It probably could hurt him, given the tile shards and chunks of plaster falling to the floor. Something hit me, I couldn’t tell what.

**If I say the wrong thing/Or I wear the wrong outfit**

The red was staining my robes, staining them a sick Gryffindor red. I let my pain hazed mind wander to what it would have been like to be a Gryffindor. Maybe I wouldn’t be a Death Eater. Maybe I would even be friends with Potter, and Weasley, and Granger. Potter’s startled eyes hovered over me, like a pair of round, green Snitches.

**They'll throw me right over the side**

Was I dying? Was this how I died? Bested by Potter on the floor of a bathroom. I was dimly aware of things in the dwindling light. Professor Snape rushing in, wand outstretched. Myrtle standing in the background, shell shocked. And that look in Potter’s eyes. Could it be that he didn’t want to kill me? That maybe he thought I didn’t deserve to die? No, not possible. He had to want to kill, just like I had to want to kill him.

**I'm hugging my knees/And the captain is pointing**

Voldemort’s orders still shook me to the core. Could I even dream of saying no? No, because he would slaughter me and my entire family. I couldn’t care less about my dad, but I wouldn’t let him touch my mum. She was… the only thing I really had left.

**Well who made her captain?**

Bellatrix’s haunting look as I was announced to do the deed. The look of envy, one that wouldn’t hesitate to slaughter the entirety of Hogwarts for the chance to kiss Voldemort’s bloodstained robes.

**Still, the weakest must go**

I was a Slytherin. A Slytherin. Slytherin’s weren’t automatically Death Eaters, they weren’t the villians in every story. They also weren’t weak. They didn’t back down from a fight, no matter what they would look like in the aftermath. They stuck it out.

**The tiniest lifeboat/Full of people I know**

My wand shook as I pointed it at Dumbledore. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t do this anymore! His empty promises, the ones to keep my and my mother safe, he wouldn’t do that. Not for me. I wasn’t aware what I was saying, I was on autopilot. But I was aware of pulling up my sleeve, showing the Dark Mark. No one, _no one_ , could understand the amount of pain it represented. The sick, twisted future laid out for me. My own shortcomings, weaknesses. A brand, reminding me that I could never do that right thing.

**The tiniest lifeboat/Full of people I know**

He fell sort of gracefully over the side. Had Professor Snape really just done that? He must have. I could hear him hitting the ground, somehow devoid of bones cracking. Dumbledore was still a great wizard after death. Was that… I saw Potter down there. Was it a trick of the light? If it was, it shook me more than it should. The look in his eyes. That look. The one I had been given all my life at Hogwarts. _I knew you were evil._ I believed it too, now. How could I not? I had been sinking, sinking, sinking all my life but now, I was finally drowned.


End file.
